Trading hatred for love
In selecting a hopefully compelling theme for this week’s post, I considered tackling the concept of hatred, a grey cloud of concern weighing on my mind for some time now. How could it not distress everyone else too? Or so, I naively presumed trying to give myself license to discuss a headier topic than normal. Afterall, the whole country’s been inundated with gut-wrenching stories of protracted wars, power struggles, and endless lies from politicians and bad actors alike. The recking ball of hatred seemed to loom everywhere.
Then, luckily, my protective inner self told me to pull back. Making sense of why we hate would be like trying to put the genie back in the bottle. Even an attempt to scratch the surface would be futile. So instead, I decided to do a complete about-face and give some thought to the concept of love. Now that’s a topic imminently more agreeable to ponder. Right?
Ask yourself the question
Forging ahead, let’s consider not who but what we love. Ask yourself the question: Outside of family and friends, what are you truly passionate about in your life? When I considered this question, I realized that I loved a great many things: food, wine, culture of all kinds, travel, and gardening, just for starters. Had I fallen into the trap of yet another crushing topic? Then I happened upon the idea of narrowing the question down to just the first three things which spontaneously popped into my head. And heart. What were the three things which I truly loved at that very moment?
Bingo! My choice included pears, cycling, and art museums. Why these three disparate things? Simply because they were at the top of my morning’s to-do list. Considering the things I like best are always at the front of the line, might they not work perfectly for this exercise? This is how they appeared on my note pad:
1. Call The Mount artist
2. Prep for Summer Streets
3. Find MOMA membership card
Pear mania
No doubt, you’re scratching your head. What is she talking about? Allow me to connect the dots. The first item has to do with my love affair with pears. If you’ve even been to my home, it’s impossible not to notice that pears are an omnipresent “leitmotif” in how the apartment is decorated. There are paintings, prints, and photographs of pears in almost every room; ceramics pears on the kitchen countertop; stacks of plates adorned with pears in the dining room buffet; and a miniature pear tree growing on my terrace. There used to be a rug in the kitchen as well with a bright, multi-colored pear design. However, as my obsession needed to be pared back (groan!), it was replaced with something more neutral once the rug finally wore out.
As luck would have it my travel buddy, Jan Hazard, invited me to her Connecticut home last week. One of her planned activities was to join mutual friends, the Kaspers, to see “Sculpture at the Mount” at writer Edith Wharton’s home in Lenox, Massachusetts. This is an annual outdoor exhibit of large-scale pieces of sculpture nestled within nature in the wooden areas and gardens surrounding Warton’s Gilded Age mansion.
In the middle of this stunning installation were five larger-than-life golden pears delicately resting on a bed of small, dazzling white stones. It was love at first sight. While I couldn’t afford all five pears—nor was there room for them in my home—perhaps the artist, Audrey Shachnow, would be willing to break up the collection. I called her at her Soho studio and negotiated the acquisition of one of her golden pears.
During our conversation it was clear that Audrey and I shared the same pear fixation. It was an exhilarating conversation, like two Swifties meeting for the first time. But instead of discussing why we loved a pop singer, we chatted about why we were such devoted fans of a specific fruit.
Pearfection
Naturally, Audrey’s discussion of pears was centered on high-brow artistic inspiration. Mine, on the other hand, was decidedly pedestrian. I casually offered that I loved to look at pears as well as cook with them. She talked about how the different varieties of pears, along with their curvaceous quality, offered her as an artist endless possibility of shapes, colors and exterior textures. I countered meekly with how I adored making pears in a red wine sauce. Paul Cézanne meets Betty Crocker.
Then, not realizing that I might be embarrassing myself further, I blathered on about the movie Tom Jones. “Remember that gluttony scene at the country inn? The prelude to sex segment where the two protagonists devoured overripe pears at the end of the meal? Can’t you just see the luscious pear juices running down their chins?” I queried the artist.
As I had not yet thoroughly researched the artist’s career, I didn’t realize that she had been creating fine art fruit for years. Former commercial art director-turned-artist/sculptress Audrey now produces large and small pieces of work using pears as a central theme. She has exhibited her work in art museums around the country including at the Met Cloisters here in New York. Had I known this before the phone call, I might have tempered my gushing enthusiasm a bit and mentioned simply that I find a pear’s shape to be visually exquisite.
Cycling through Gotham City
The second item on the to-list refers to my love of cycling. It was time for New York’s annual Summer Streets and I needed to get all of my cycling gear ready for a 7 AM start the following day. That meant laying out my biking gloves, water bottle, helmet, fanny pack and padded bike shorts.
Summer Streets is an annual program which takes place in all of New York City’s five boroughs. Miles of streets are designated car-free each Saturday in August. From 7 AM to 3 PM people can freely run, walk, scoot and cycle to their hearts’ content. The roundtrip circuit in Manhattan runs 20 miles from the Brooklyn Bridge back up to Harlem at 125th Street. Along the way there are rest stops where you can get your bike tires pumped up, throw down your yoga mat on the tarmac, or shoot hoops, among other fun recreational activities sponsored by the city, all free of charge.
My husband Ed and I—both long distance cyclists—never failed to take out our bikes for Summer Streets. It was certainly one of the season’s highlights. What we loved best was finding ourselves bound together within a community of total strangers all sharing the same public celebration of unbridled fun.
Enjoying the unexpected
Every year Summer Streets offers something new and unexpected. One summer, for example, near the overpass at Grand Central Station, a container was converted into a swimming pool replete with palm trees and beach lounge chairs. This year a Wegman Supermarket 8-wheeler truck was set up in Harlem. People were invited to climb into the cabin and experience a truck driver’s (almost) bird’s eye view of the city.
Smiling volunteers sporting Halloween orange T-shirts held up “stop” and “go” signs at each street crossing. New York’s finest was out in force as well. Several young policemen wearing Tom Cruise shades were lazily blowing bubbles with their chewing gum as we rode by. Others, mostly policewomen, were offering bright smiles and clapping wildly. Both, male and female officers, were clearly enjoying their crime-free assignment protecting us not to mention collecting their weekend overtime pay!
Together, the police and volunteers were our cheering squad all along the way. As I struggled to make it to the top of 96th street—a veritable Granny gear hill challenge—their enthusiastic encouragement was greatly appreciated.
Summer Streets always provides an opportunity to make a wacky statement. My favorite sighting this year was a young female cyclist with a tiny dog in a knap sack mounted on her chest. Like its master, the pooch was prepared for the fun ride all decked out in a miniature bike helmet and old-fashioned aviator goggles. Instagrammable? You bet!
Loving art museums at a young age
Art museums was listed last among the three “things I love.” My passion for them started at a young age. Growing up in France and Belgium, where museums abound, gave my mother a free ride when planning family weekends. If we weren’t out in the Chevy exploring another historic village, we would be heading to a musée d’art. To this day, spending time checking out a new art exhibit is something I dearly covet.
Normally when I want to go to a museum, I first pull out my membership card and put it in a prominent place as a reminder. Then I add it to my “to do” list. Last week it took me two days to get to MOMA—the closest museum to my apartment—as somehow life kept getting in the way.
Although MOMA was not having any new blockbuster exhibit at the time of my visit, I’m glad I went anyway. It was like reconnecting with a bunch of old friends. The concept of this summer’s exhibit was to showcase works of art from the museum’s permanent collection from 1880s to 1940s. Instead of mounting a show chronologically or by artist, they displayed pieces of art around an array of diverse themes: either a specific medium or discipline; moment of time; or similar creative idea. While this approach was a bit tedious in my opinion, seeing paintings and pieces of sculpture that I knew and loved through a new lens worked surprisingly well.
The joy of daydreaming
My attention span at any art museum tops out at one hour. After that, I normally allow myself the luxury of just wandering around and enjoying the art on a purely visceral level. You don’t need to be knowledgeable about art history or technique to appreciate an artist’s creative genius or their wide palette of colors, shapes and textures. Just being able to “see” art offers you a respite from the frenzy of life. It also gives you the chance to be in the moment, as they say. And to daydream, the part of an art museum’s experience that I love best.
To cap off this post, here is what some of my friends and family had to offer when queried about what they loved most at one given moment. No names were used out of respect for people’s privacy, as some of the responses were somewhat intimate.
· A well-known food journalist: Summer tomatoes; walking; and exploring restaurants
· A highly energetic spin instructor: Teaching group fitness; theatre; and music
· A graphic designer: A sunny morning to set the mood for the day; a good breakfast; and a good night’s sleep
· An elementary school teacher: Music, literature; being outdoors in nature
· A busy top executive and mother of two boys under three: Farmers markets; puzzles; dining alone at the bar on a weekend night, especially at Anton's, while her husband watches the kids
· A retired top international marketing executive: Art and culture (including cuisine and travel (it’s like oxygen for her); and psychology (the attempt to understand “what makes people tick”)
A recent college graduate launching a career in accounting: Food; travel; and sleep
Now it’s your turn to take the challenge. Jot down the three things— outside of friends and family—which you love most right now. Don’t overthink it. Then consider how they give pleasure and meaning to your existence. It’s an easy, feel-good exercise worth the effort. Tell me if I’m not right!