Remaining Relevant in Life (Part 2)
Last week we learned some easy techniques for remaining relevant to our friends, family and colleagues. Keeping up to date with current affairs and pop culture, spending time with people of all ages and expanding our knowledge through constant learning were just a few helpful concepts to consider. Here is the balance of other methods to explore.
Share advice but avoid preaching
Lars Leicht, wine industry guru, agrees with the benefits of nonstop learning and sharing of knowledge. “Asking questions, continuing to explore, and being useful whenever possible” is critical to maintaining your importance to others. “When I speak to younger family members or friends, I try to offer some useful or just fun information based on my experience without coming across as a boring old man or tired lecturer. I try to find new ways to spin my ‘back in my day’ stories.
“Humor helps a lot. So does finding commonalities. You know the old saying, never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins. I try to find out where others have tread, learn from that, and lightly make comparisons to my own footsteps without being self-centered. News you can use is what I aim for, even if it’s from yesterday’s paper.” Adding a self-deprecating touch goes as long way, too, as Lars has learned over the years.
Embrace the value of travel
It’s natural to enjoy the comfort and familiarity of your home and daily routine. However, to keep life fresh and exciting, and thus to increase your personal value to others, it’s important to periodically step out of your comfort zone. One of the most enjoyable ways to do this is through travel. Either to a new neighborhood just down the street or a new continent, the distance makes no difference.
Janeen Sarlin, whom we met earlier, travels non-stop. She is constantly packing her bag and galloping off to some exotic destination. Janeen is a big fan of solo travel, in particular. According to her, “It makes it easier to make new friends at the same times as you’re being exposed to cultural differences and new ways of thinking.” She believes that travel increases the value of your brand by broadening your perspective and encouraging risk taking. Both increase your appeal to others.
And who wouldn’t be curious to spend time with someone who has cycled through Vietnam, harvested peat from the bog of a retired Irish farmer, or participated in some other unimaginable, exotic experience far from home?
Reinvent yourself and don’t fear taking risks
Once you’ve stopped one career, never hesitate to change gears and investigate another. When my former assistant Fran Kravitz moved to another city, she didn’t have to think twice about pursuing a totally new career. Acting had always been one of her dreams. While a difficult path to follow, Fran persisted and eventually started landing roles in television commercials. She took acting classes, built up both her portfolio and courage which she then parlayed into larger roles in small film productions. Fran’s passion for acting is palpable. She literally glows with enthusiasm when she talks about her current acting projects. People naturally gravitate to Fran because of her magnetic personality and no-holds-barred personality.
A consummate risk taker, Fran also recently decided to take up horseback riding. She had enjoyed riding as a child but stopped after a traumatizing accident when her saddle slid sideways leaving her holding on for dear life as her horse galloped down a hill. To overcome her fear, she cautiously returned to riding in her 30s but made little progress. By sheer happenstance, years later Fran met the Sherrif of her local Mounted Police Unit and started taking lessons from him twice a week. Now she’s training with his volunteer Mounted Search and Rescue Team!
When I closed my agency, I reinvented myself by starting the blog you are now reading, TarteTatinTales. I jokingly bragged that I was destined to become the world’s oldest influencer. That never happened but I turned the blog into a book venture which by extension encouraged me to become a better writer.
Whatever challenges you confront and risks you take, it invariably makes you a more interesting person, in my opinion. The downside of starting anything from scratch is that it makes you vulnerable. That in turn increases your level of humility, or at least for most people! Believe it or not, humility is a very appealing human quality. It is seen by many as a virtue and something which makes an individual more likeable. No pain, no gain, you might say.
Take care of your body
Its all well and good to talk about maintaining our relevancy by being curious, traveling, and choosing high energy, positive friends. However, without a healthy body none of this will be possible. Keeping your weight under control, eating a healthy diet, and exercising makes everything else easier to accomplish. No matter what you do—ride horses, stand on your head in a yoga class, or jog for 30 minutes in a water aerobics class, the key to a healthy body is to keep moving as much as is physically possible.
Engage with your larger community
Retired healthcare executive Kathy Kennerley suggests an easy way to continue being vital to others with a double benefit. “When I was working, I felt like a ‘one trick pony’ as I was consumed by my job. On weekends, I’d focused on errands, grocery shopping, hoping to fit in some fun stuff, and then get ready for the next week. Now that I'm retired, I find that I have a chance to be more relaxed and more aware of people and things around me. I'm also making a more conscious effort to pause and just be nice to others around me, not just my friends. For example, I go out of my way to compliment someone saying something like....’that's a lovely dress or interesting necklace’ or merely to make a comment (but not complain) about the weather.
“It's a connection with strangers that might make them feel seen. Also, as a gray-haired woman of a ‘certain age,’ it's easy to be ignored. A brief compliment to a stranger enables me to be seen as well.”
Channel your inner child
Ellen Negrin recommends a powerful tactic which I elected to save for last as it’s one packed with joy. She suggests learning how to see the world through the eyes of a child. As adults we tend to lose the instinct to revel in the simple pleasures of life. This means we often miss out on the magic and beauty around us. Blame it on being distracted, overworked, or merely going through life too quicikly. Slow down and rekindle your inner child. Relearning how to respond to a stunning sunset, or the first sighting of a spring robin, or the innocent smile of a baby, cannot be undervalued.
Being around someone who knows how to experience life through the same curiosity and unbridled glee and excitement as a child is enormously compelling. Who wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who has never lost his or her sense of play? I was fortunate. My late husband, Ed Lauber, had this innate gift which I try to channel daily. When I’m successful, which is most of the time, it never fails to give me an emotional high.
Just remember, the world is our stage to conquer. We control how we maintain our personal brand’s value. So, whatever your approach to remaining relevant, I hope some of the ideas presented here either sparked interest in giving them a try or reinforced what you are already doing correctly. I can assure you, staying connected in our ever-changing world is worth the effort. You’ll be glad you did.